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Old House

from To See You Well by JUBILEE

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lyrics

"One returns to the self as if to an old house." - Pablo Neruda

Let it be said that these walls collapsed from fatigue,
that the crossbeams shook violently before unhinging.

This is not a suicide note.

Let the floorboards obituary report only two words:
One: Dancing. The other: rest.
Let the district appraiser name me Not Fit For Renovation.
Even as my bankruptcy takes me to embers
let the homeless gather to warm
their hands, and next to them, children clasping marshmallowtipped sticks, and next to them,
a GIANT graham cracker.
Let it be a graham cracker billboard
and let it crash like a window on the road.

Let the police and ambulances come
and when the Seahawks game ends, let the people leave their cars
to hurdle the barricades like stepping inside their own chalk outline
dancing in it like their own wreckage.
Let them hold it like pieces of the Berlin Wall.
Let them take it to the children,
see people who don't have an address,
and take them from the police's now obligated eyes.

This is a suicide note.

But not like a blindfold,
not like a tainted white flag
like I have lived on this street long enough
to see the bulldozers,
and they do not speak fence.
or consider your market value.
This note says I've been thinking

The Taj Mahal, a wonder of the world is
just a tomb,
you can tell cities apart by their skylines;
and most of the world's greatest empires
have crumbled into gift shops,
Instead of having this taken from me
I'd rather just give it away.

Rent costs us our days, and talk is cheap, but maybe
we'd have more space to breathe if we took our doors off,
this could all be hot air, and these are just dreams,
but dreaming is what I do when my eyes fall silent,
war headlines hissing in my fireplace;
when I can't see the mansions we build like altars to ignorance.
and in these dreams

I imagine
concrete into teachable,
tell moat water to freeze,
I pull constellations into chandeliers.

But even when they turn the lights on, and I return,
I hope I return to myself
as if to an old house.

credits

from To See You Well, released January 1, 2011

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